It was too many years ago that “Caddyshack” landed and become an instant classic, at least for a certain segment of young men. Though a brilliant comedy, there is a line that resonates with us to this day, for far different reasons than mere laugh potential.
Ted Knight, the perfectly cast Country Club President, waspy asshole and all-around douchefly, encounters Chevy Chase in the locker room. Chase’s Ty Webb is the most talented, albeit lazy golfer, on the Club’s roster.
Knight – “What’d you shoot today?”
Chase – “I don’t keep score.”
Knight – “How do you measure yourself against other golfers?”
Chase – “By height.”
Of course, like the rest of the movie, it’s funny – Chase was after all, five inches taller than Knight. Several decades later, the lesson isn’t in Chase’s flawless delivery. Instead, it’s his motivation that the most enlightened of competition can and should be waged with himself, and if there is striving to be done, it should come from within.
The internet, and especially social media, has destroyed our need for reflection and critical thought, fostering the reckless belief that any question can be answered with a few keystrokes. Why bother to figure anything out for ourselves?
For those who suffer from trust issues, and believe little of what is seen or heard, this is a debilitating coup that reinforces lazy mentalities and bad habits. Google and twitter have made short attention spans an asset, and that is killing us, spiritually and physically.
These days, when some finally tumble to the fact that they need to take better care of themselves, the first stop is Facebook, to find a trainer, or a community forum where like-minded enablers will lament their shortcomings right along with you. Those who fall into this trap aren’t really expecting to get into serious shape, instead just checking off boxes. Petrified of hard work and self-regulation, they find comfort in talking over doing.
The majority of today’s trainers serve as emotional surrogates, at the expense of strict and regimented teaching. Most of the hour (standard is 55 minutes, which isn’t always enough,) is spent schmoozing. Ask yourself what you are there for? And then get on with it, minus distractions.
No one can be rigorous 24/7, and that is by no means what I am talking about. Everyone needs downtime, no matter how that manifests. Even revered stoics build in time to reflect and simply…be.
But frequently letting oneself off the hook leads to bad habits. Excessive time spent on your phone, eating and drinking, and the failure to engage curiosity and imagination all destroy the best parts of our soul. Or worse, open the door to drugs and other forms of self-destruction.
Google, diet remedies, personal trainers? None are the self-proclaimed, all-encompassing panaceas ensuring a smooth path beyond self-doubt or depression. Not even the malaise that takes form when one blindly goes through the motions and then wonders, far too infrequently, where it’s all gone and what the hell has happened.
Trust practical experience. Find an exercise or discipline that you can work with, one that helps strengthen the physical bond with the mindful self. Google, or a trainer, can’t really tell you, beyond hyperbole, if you are pushing yourself hard enough, or if what you are eating will make you feel like sludge. Stop trying to sell the necessity of your needs and desires to others, just so you can feel a tenuous sense of inclusion.
Understand, accept and release what you can of the bruising insecurity that dwells in all of us. And then get on with it.
Believe in something larger and more important than yourself. Justify your own life, and the way you live it, to yourself. Then strive to make it that much more.
Or we could be totally off the mark. Wouldn’t be the first time.